Wedding Recap: Sept. 7th, 2023
I used to create Pinterest boards filled with my dream engagement ring and wedding aesthetic long before I was actually engaged. After my fairy-tale proposal 2022 in front of Disneyland’s Castle, I was ready and eager to start the planning process. Those who know me well, know I thrive when it comes to organizing events. Yet, even with my passion for planning, I still had moments of stress and feeling overwhelmed. For those entering their bridal era, here is my journey and hopefully some useful wedding insight.
Where to start
Set a budget and prioritize where you want to spend your money. The average cost for wedding in California was $32,369- $41,000 in 2023 and continues to rise each year. Setting a budget that felt comfortable and achievable had it’s challenges, especially once you get price quotes back from vendors. I highly suggest making a list with your fiancè your top 3-4 things that are important to each of you. For my husband, open bar & good food was a priority and photography & lush florals were non negotiable for me. Our personal budget was $25,000- $28,000.
A great way to save is to consider having your wedding on a weekday or during the off-season (April to October is typically peak wedding season). If a winter wedding isn’t appealing, the next best choice is to opt for Monday to Thursday instead of Friday to Sunday. Fortunately, our anniversary fell on a Thursday in September. Confirming our wedding date was the first easy decision, we ended up saving about $4,000 by choosing a weekday.
Know your guest list count. Have a ball park number in mind. That will not only dictate your budget, but all your potential wedding vendors will ask how many guests you’re anticipating. For us, we wanted something small and intimate. Our magic number of 65 people also kept us from going over budget.
Create a mood board. Whether it’s through Pinterest, Canva or on a poster board, it’s a great tool to help narrow done the overall vibe and color scheme: Early on, I knew I wanted a lot of greenery and white floral, with minimal touches blue. Also pick some key words to describe your ideal event, mine was timeless, romantic, French/Italian villa.
Do what makes you and your partner happy. It sounds simple enough, but it’s tricky when family and friends want to share their opinions and views. My husband and I paid for majority of the wedding, with my mom graciously gifting us $5,000. Because of that generous donation, my mom (bless her heart) felt like she had a lot of say when it came to the guest list or music selection. At the end of the day, what we wanted and envisioned outweighed anyone’s input, even if they contributed financially.
Dress shopping tips
The silhouette I envisioned myself in, was always a fitted mermaid with a long train, Even if you have a strong sense of what you want, try on as many cuts, shapes, fabrics, as you can. From full princess ball gowns, fitted, sleeved, lace, beaded, etc. trying it all will narrow what you love and what you don’t. I’ve also heard opposite, where you might fall in love with a dress you didn’t expect to. Keep an open mind.
Be selective with your shopping entourage. Bring people that are honest, supportive, and know your taste well. Your entourage is there to uplift you, but will also (nicely) tell you if something isn’t flattering. I kept my entourage very small with my mom, aunt and sister-in-law and I couldn’t have asked for a better group.
When setting your dress budget, don’t forget about alterations. I didn’t need much except for hemming and adding a bustle (it secured the train after the ceremony, so I can dance and move more freely) cost me $762.51. I might have saved money going elsewhere, but I trusted Janene’s in-house seamstress. I didn’t want to risk my dress getting ruined. Also if you’re in the Bay Area, Janene’s Bridal shop in Alameda is a dream. A gorgeous space with a variety of dresses and designers.
My “Say Yes to the Dress” moment. Discovering my dream wedding dress is a story of serendipity—it actually found me twice. During my first visit to a bridal boutique, I tried on a range of styles until I discovered a gorgeous Maggie Sottero design. The initial dress had a dark nude undertone and a bold plunging neckline. Although I loved the silhouette and the floral appliques, I wasn’t a fan of the neckline or the color. The stylists reassured those were simple things that can be changed, but it was hard for me to imagine what it would all look like.
The following day at Janene's in Alameda, I shared some inspiration photos (without revealing the pieces I had already tried). The stylist pulled together six or seven dresses, but while they were pretty, I didn’t feel the spark. Just before trying on the fifth dress, I noticed it looked somewhat familiar and realized it was the same Maggie Sottero dress from the day before, now in the white/ivory color I wanted, complete with a sweetheart neckline instead of the plunge.
When I put it on, I was instantly obsessed all over again. It was ethereal, timeless yet modern—everything I dreamed my gown would be. As I walked out, my entourage was in agreement: this was THE ONE. It had all the elements I wanted, and the price made it an easy choice since it was well within my budget.
My dream dress: Maggie Sottoro dress with matching veil $1565. I honestly felt like I could have saved money on the veil ($450) and get one similar off of Amazon. My aunt and sister-in-law really wanted me to have it so they paid a portion of it.
Amazon came through with the flower girl dresses. It was a steal at $40 each and I bought petticoats at a local bridal boutique to add more volume. One of my bridesmaids made the gorgeous baskets.
Digital Invites: We skipped on the save the dates and used Paperless Post to email/text a simple invitation. The invite also directed everyone to our wedding website, which had all the misc. details (dress code, parking info, hotel blocks, etc.) The digital invite was also helpful in getting our RSVPs back instantly. We did a few paper invites mainly for our families and for us to hold onto as a keepsake.
Take advantage of sales. Every little expense adds up just as fast as the big ones. Sales like Black Friday, Amazon Prime Day, etc, helped us save on bach outfits, gifts for our bridal party, wedding stationary, decor and accessories.
Create a photo shot list. Most of the photo ops I wanted were captured, there were a few special moments that I wish had been documented. For example, I would have loved photos of my husband getting ready with his parents or we missed taking more photos in the actual mansion, both the interior and exterior facade. During the reception I wanted each table to come up to our sweetheart table to take photos but it was so busy I didn’t get a chance to communicate that with the photographer. With so much going on, keeping an organized checklist will hopefully help prioritize what to shoot. That being said our photographer was amazing and I’m in love with how our pictures came out.
The sparklers instantly reminded me of when WWE wrestlers come out to the ring. We were both wrestling fans growing up, so doing this for the grand entrance made so much sense.
Worth the investment
Photographer/ Videographer: When the festivities come to a close, all that remains are the photos, videos, and your memories. I was especially picky about our photographer. Be sure to identify the photography style and editing that you connect with, whether that’s light & airy, dark & moody, editorial, documentary, etc.
Videography was an expense we were going to cut, but I’m thankful we reconsidered. The ability to relive our day—not just through pictures, but also by hearing our vows and seeing ourselves walk down the aisle with our parents is priceless.
Florals: Although our venue package included flowers, I opted to take that out and pursue a different florist that aligned more closely with my vision. Florals make a difference in elevating the space and setting the ambience. The mansion was already naturally beautiful, with plenty of trees, so I didn’t need to go overboard to enhance it.
For the grand, lush aesthetic I wanted, some florists required a minimum spend of $6,000 to $10,000 to work with them. I was so happy to come across Malou from Blooms & Twiggs in Vallejo, CA, her arrangements were straight out of my Pinterest board. It was still a large sum of money, but it was do-able within our budget.
Live music: There’s something about live music that feels grand and luxe. We hired a string trio who played during the ceremony and part of cocktail hour.
Make-up and hair: For hair and make-up, I left it up to the professionals. I splurged on a high end make-up artist, bridal glam was $380 and each bridesmaid paid $180. I hired a separate hair stylists for the bridesmaids, which cost them $135 each. Thankfully, my man of honor is a hair stylists so he did my hair and took care of my mom’s glam for free.
I also highly suggest booking a trial to test out different styles, colors, and products, to ensure you feel the most beautiful and confident. A trial also confirmed certain things I wanted to adjust or change on the day of. Even though it’s additional cost, it's definitely worth it to perfect your look.
Self-care: Prioritizing skin treatments and skincare equals a flawless makeup application. Maintaining a healthy and active lifestyle goes beyond just looking good in a dress. When you feel amazing on the inside, it radiates outward.
Late night Snack: We opted out of favors but spent the money on a late night snack. This was 50/50 on whether it was worth the money. It was worth it because of the open bar, we wanted our guests to be well energized. On the other hard, It’s hard to say how many guests realized there was a nacho station. Even though we had signage and had our DJ did announce it, our guests were busy enjoying drinks and dancing. The nacho bar was our most budget-friendly option (we were torn between a taco bar, mac & cheese station, or nacho bar), so if it wasn’t utilized as much, it didn’t cost us a lot.
Bubbles for our ceremony exit.
VOGUE vibes.
The Venue: Jefferson St. Mansion Wedgewood Weddings
Wedgewood Weddings is an all inclusive wedding venue/planning team. You can pick and choose their packages that include: wedding planning, day of coordinator, food, bar, florals, Dj, cake, etc. Wedgewood Weddings have various venues across the US. My sister-in-law suggested to check them out and based on their pricing online, it seemed relatively reasonable.
The cost depends on the package you chose and how many guests you will have. We chose the “Elite” package which had more upgrades like open bar with top shelf alcohol, elevated linens/chairs, an extra hour of event time, a photo booth and a grand entrance sparkler. We paid $140 per person (prices vary between the Wedgewood venues). Aside from their in-house catering, you’re more than welcome to hire outside vendors if you want to work with a different bakery, florists, DJ, etc.
As a type A personality who prefers to be in control and is very particular, I can’t recommend Jefferson St. Mansion enough. They were so helpful and available via text/email if any questions or concerns came up. From the wedding planning process to the day of, they made the whole experience as stress-free as possible and were very attentive with the details and execution. Our guests raved about the food, ambience, beauty of the venue.
The garden at the mansion reminded me of gardens in Europe.
First look vs. no first look. We went back and forth on the first look, considering the pros and cons. Ultimately, there were more pros and we’re really happy with our choice to do it. The day goes by in an instant, and having more moments captured together was important. It also gave us more quality time, which helped ease our nerves before the ceremony.
Be present. I didn’t have my phone with me and I wasn’t stressed with capturing the details. This is why you hired your photographer and videographer. I’m also fortunate to have true friends taking all the necessary content (videos, photos, tik toks and reels.) That allowed me to be in the moment, and soak everything in. That is also true for the milestones leading up to the big day. The venue tours, dress shopping, food and cake tasting, bridal shower & bach parties, be present, enjoy and absorb it all.
Party, but don’t over do it. Yes, you paid for the drinks, but you also want to remember the celebration. After all the planning and prepping, it would be a shame to blackout and not fully enjoy the day you’ve worked so hard for. This will be the biggest, most expensive party you will throw, a gathering of all your favorite people under one roof.
Husband and wife.
With the concrete feeling a bit uneven for dancing, we paid extra for a black and white dance floor. It also brought more elegance to the reception area.
I loved our neutral, clean palette with just hints of blue. We did both high and low floral center pieces.
On the day, you will be pulled in so many different directions. You have your event timeline: ceremony, grand entrances, first dances, speeches, cake cutting,etc. You’re trying to mingle and chat with everyone, pose for photos, dance, drink, AND spend time with your spouse. There’s so much to do in so little time.
You’ll hear this a lot from other coup[es on their wedding day, they didn’t have time to eat. That was definitely true for us. Another reason we chose to do the first look was so we can enjoy cocktail hour after the ceremony. Our photographer wanted to take more photos during golden hour so we missed cocktail hour and literally had 3 bites each of our dinner. Not having a moment to sit down and enjoy the food was a bummer. It was a sacrifice that was made for more portraits, and again it’s hard to juggle it all. Shout out to our venue for packing extra food for us to go.
Another food tip to get your energy up: Consider preparing simple snacks for the morning of. While we were getting ready, we had a spread of charcuterie, fruit, and a selection of drinks and water for ourselves and our wedding party. Plus, our hotel provided a complimentary breakfast.
Not leaving for the honeymoon right after the wedding. Planning the wedding and celebration was already exhausting and took a lot out of us. Organizing a honeymoon, on top of that, felt too overwhelming. We only had the destinations and accommodations figured out; everything else related to the honeymoon was put on hold until after the nuptials. Delaying our trip for seven months helped maintain the excitement of the wedding and gave us another celebration to look forward to.
Our signature drink was dedicated to my husband's miniature pinscher that passed away.
Our calligrapher did an outstanding job on the seating chart and other misc. signage on different vintage mirrors.
The cake design was kept minimal but was covered with edible pearls. We had two flavors, raspberry preserve/cream cheese and tres leches cake.
We were very mindful and intentional on the vendors we wanted to collaborate with and in how we allocated our budget. Every single decision is so personal and what mattered to us on our special day may differ for others. Ultimately, everything came together beautifully; it was a dream come true and it’s a day that we hold so close to our hearts. No matter your budget—big or small, extravagant or simple—the day is all about your love and celebrating in a way that feels right to you and your spouse. It will be a memorable milestone, no matter the scale.
If you’re searching for vendors in the Bay Area, we loved and highly recommend everyone we worked with. Just keep in mind that these recommendations are based on a 2023 wedding, and prices may have increased since then.
Jefferson St, Mansion: $15,848.95 (includes wedding planning, day of coordinator, food, open bar, cake, DJ/MC, rentals, lighting, photo booth)
Juliet Rogalskiy Photographer: $2,700
Bloom and Twiggs florals: $4,098
Black & white dance floor rental: $870
String Trio: $800
Calligrapher $217.50
Total: $26,524.45 (if we add on the cost of miscellaneous decor, tipping certain vendors, gifts for the bridal party, our hotel, etc. the cost would be closer to $27,000)